“How does one become a butterfly?" she asked. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” Trina Paulus

Friday, October 17, 2014

Courage to be Imperfect

This week has been so hard for me physically... I took a few days off work for my birthday then I'm working 45+ hours the next four days after that... I'm trying not to beat myself up for the lack of workouts... My normal reaction is to quit it all together... to give up... but I'm choosing to give myself a little break... to know I can start over on Monday... that because I feel worn out doesn't mean that is for always...So I didn't want to blog because I felt like I was a disappointment, so I made myself write... 
So I decided to write about my imperfection this week... to have the courage to be imperfect that I still love myself for what I have done this week and for what I haven't done...that I love me for being me...for shutting down the voices sooner... for not listening to the people trying to guilt me... for knowing I'm doing the best I can in this moment...My friend gave me a challenge that "I'm a shadow on the wall"  and then he asked me what the wall was.... as I looked inside me for the answers, I realized that my wall is fear... that when the light shines on me, my shadow shows on the wall... I move to the fear...that instead of shining in the light and turning my face to feel the warmth of the light... I have turned to the fear and let my shadow become bigger....but today I'm shifting just a little toward the sun... I'm forgiving myself for my lack, and focusing on what i can do different...I'm closing my eyes, lifting my face to the light, taking a deep breath, and enjoying the warm...

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