Body be who you need to be... be free and full of my soul...
I don't feel at home in my body, I don't feel so welcome here... I don't recognize myself in this human home... Who I feel I am inside doesn't match the rolls of chubby that stifle me... I 'm trying to love her and appreciate what she gives me. As I feel this for myself, my mind drifts to the conversation I was honored to be invited to this week... an admired friend and coworker shut the door to our office, took a deep breath and said she wanted to share with me... as she nervously told me she was going to transition to the body she had always felt she belonged in... I knew bits and pieces before, but was honored that she felt enough love from me that it was safe to share... A new name, some physical changers... I felt proud of her courage and proud to be trusted... I felt her release from letting it out and felt excitement for her journey ahead... Later as I thought of the name he had chosen, it didn't seem foreign or odd, it just rest there on my lips... Ivan, a strong name for one who is brave and solid.. it fit. As I thought of the name she was given by her parents, never fit for me, but I hadn't given it much thought... it made sense now why. Because of my friend Nan, who had shared the story of her daughters transition from a male to herself, I was able to hold space for my friend... Body be who you need to be, if I can support him to be true to his body and gentle with transitions, how can I not give that to myself... to embrace the body that feels too big to be me... until I'm ready to transition to the healthy body that is truly me...
6-16-17
